Rose Who Was Afraid of Fairy Tales

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Come closer, dear, and I’ll tell you a tale. Once upon a time, in a faraway land, on a dark and stormy night, there lived a little girl. Her name was Rose, and she was a princess. In fact, she was a very disgruntled princess. You see, it had been raining quite steadily all day. Normally Rose would not mind the weather–the castle was full of interesting nooks and crannies to explore–but not today. Today she’d been given a perfectly lovely new pony by her perfectly lovely new stepmother, and she wanted to go down to the stables to pet him. Continue reading

For Love of Gold by JAC

marinaWhat female heart can gold despise?
What cat’s averse to fish?
—Thomas Gray,
“On the Death of a Favorite Cat”

The Shannon, Eire
August 31, 1995 (Lughnasadh)

Marina sat lounging in the cool waters of the Shannon, her favourite sanctuary in today’s world—the small lake in the middle of Sherwood had long ago dried up with no circle of willows to protect it. Not that she had spent much time there since her sister had left her immortality and office of Gaea centuries before that. In fact, the Shannon was pretty much her only sanctuary these days. Especially today. Since the age of Industrialisation and the rise of computers—and the Internet!—magick was being systematically eradicated throughout the world. She wasn’t much use anymore. It wasn’t quite high tourist season, so she was pretty well left alone most of the time to bathe in the comfort of the magick of Eire. Her few visitors, when she had any, were of the fey, and they didn’t stay long to chat with the Goddess of Water anyway. As she leaned her elbows back on the riverbank she let her eyes close against the warmth of the Sun and sighed contentedly, although a part of her mind wished for excitement once again. She sighed again, this time with resignation. She had to accept it—if it were possible, this perpetual state of inactivity would bore her to death. How she wished there were someone to talk to. She hadn’t heard a good story in ages.

There was a noise behind her, startling her into full cognition. She turned around to face inland, scanning the surrounding woodland for the source of the interruption. A rustle, from over there, somewhere in the bushes. Was someone spying on her? While she was bathing? How rude. ‘Come forth,’ she called. ‘I bid you not be afraid. Come forth and we shall talk a while.’

Continue reading

Adeline and Elise By Laurel Burlew

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Far away, tucked behind the mountains of Ramun and bordering the Zendain forest, there sat a kingdom named Aldea. It flourished under the rule of the wise King Florian and his kindhearted wife, Queen Jada. They were beloved by all, and the people of the kingdom greatly despaired when the King and Queen were taken from them in sickness. Left behind to rule was their only son, Henry. Though only twenty years of age when he ascended to the throne, King Henry dedicated his life to serving his kingdom and sought to find a bride who could rule alongside him.

He searched far and near, and met every eligible princess from the east to the west. Yet the King found no one suitable as a bride. Giving up his quest, Henry returned to his kingdom and decided he would rule it on his own.

Now, there lived in the kingdom two sisters who were very poor. The eldest, eighteen-year-old Adeline, had taken care of her sixteen-year-old sister Elise since their parents had died when they were young. The two sisters worked for a seamstress, and though they had little in the way of money, they had each other. During work hours, Adeline and Elise would sing to pass the time. They had lovely voices, though the seamstress often praised Elise above her sister.

When they went home each night to their small cottage, which was shared with other families on either side and above them, the sisters would play on an old pianoforte that had been given to the family long ago. The neighbors often stopped to listen.

On the days when they did not work, Adeline and Elise walked to the library and brought home books of all sorts. Though they did not know the foreign languages of kingdoms nearby as many accomplished women did, they did know how to converse with the traders who came through the kingdom. And although they did not know how to dance fashionably in proper assemblies and balls, their father had taught them at a young age to waltz beautifully.

When it reached Adeline’s ears that the King was in want of a wife, an idea sparked in her mind. The law of their kingdom stated that if the King could not find a wife among the noble women, he could choose a woman from among those in his kingdom. Knowing this from the many books she read over the years, Adeline devised a plan.

Early one morning, she arose and went out before the sun had risen. She walked quickly and made it to the palace gates a little after the golden sun had risen over the peaks of the Ramun mountains.

“I wish to see the King,” She told the guards who stood watch.

“No peasants see the King unless summoned!” They replied.

Adeline was not in a mind to let anyone dissuade her. She left, but she came back the next morning at the same time.

Again, she said, “I wish to see the King.” And again the guards sent her away.

She came back a third time and asked to see the King. But once again, she was sent away. Adeline went to the palace gates every morning for two weeks. The guards became perplexed and asked why she wanted to see the King; she only replied that it was urgent business. On the fourteenth day, the guards were so curious that they decided to let her enter the gates.

“Surely,” one said to the other as she approached the palace in the early morning light, “she is not dangerous at all. Indeed, I feel as if I know her now. She wishes to see the King—why not let her in and see what happens.”

Adeline walked into the grand palace, welcomed by a double door entrance. She came into the magnificent foyer and was stopped by another guard. “Why are you here?” he asked, his large frame filling her view.

“I am here to see the King.” Adeline replied. She was sent away by the guard, and as she left through the gates she waved goodbye to the two guards who let her in.

“That’s it,” they said to themselves, “she will not come back now.”

She did, however, return the next day, asking to see the King. The guards at the gate let her in once more, but she was turned away by others. Day after day, she returned when the golden sun shone brightly on the palace. The guards at the gate admired her persistence and began to advocate for her, hoping she would be allowed to see the King. Servants of the palace took notice of her and hoped that she could, one day, see the King.

Many attendants and maids wondered why she wanted to see the king. Adeline became a great mystery and source of curiosity among the palace staff, and nearly everyone knew who she was. A month after she began setting foot in the palace, the King heard of her. One bright morning, he requested that she be brought before him when she came to the palace. The guards of the gate, who had become friends to her, met her with smiles on their faces.

“The King has requested to see you this morning, Adeline,” one of them said, the other grinning from ear to ear.

Adeline’s smile spread from the center of her heart outward, and when she smiled it was so radiant that one of the guards felt as if she were the sun. As the young woman passed through the gates, he hoped with all his heart that she would find what she was looking for.

She was led through the grand palace and brought into the throne room, where the King received guests. Adeline’s heart sped, but she maintained her composure. She smoothed out the fabric of her skirts and straightened her auburn bun atop her head, taking in a deep breath before the doors swung open.

All was silent as she walked through the hall of the throne room, up to the seat of the King. Adeline curtseyed to the ground, bowing her head and spreading her skirts out.

“Please, stand,” the king said after a moment’s silence. She lifted her head and stood up.

Adeline looked into the eyes of the ruler, which were as golden as the morning sun she had come to know so well. “Your majesty,” she said, nodding her head once more.

“I have heard much of you, and I am curious about you. Tell me your name.”

“My name is Adeline, your majesty,” she replied.

“Why is it, Adeline, that you have come to see me? I hear from my advisor that you have come every morning for the past six weeks. You have your chance now—please, speak.”

Adeline took in a deep breath. The King tilted his head, waiting. “Your majesty, I join with all of the kingdom in mourning over the loss of the late King and Queen, your parents, over a year ago. They were the kindest and wisest of rulers, truly loved by every subject. You stepped into this role at a young age, but have demonstrated a knowledge and discernment that surpasses your years. I have heard of your quest to find a suitable bride, searching near and far—but to no avail. I have come to suggest to you a very suitable bride, one who is loving and kind and accomplished.”

The King raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Ah, I see. And tell me, Adeline, who is this woman you suggest I marry? You?” he asked, tugging at his short, dark beard.

She smiled, shaking her head. “No, your majesty. The woman I am speaking of is my younger sister.”

“I see,” he nodded. “And why is it that your sister is not here, Adeline? Why could she not come herself?”

“Because she is only sixteen, your majesty. She is not yet old enough to be presented in court, and because of this she cannot come before you now. But she will be seventeen in a year, and I would like to present her to you then. If, of course, you have not found a bride by then.”

The King sat back, seemingly intrigued. Adeline continued.

“I do not think your majesty would care to simply meet her a year from now—that would not do. I propose that I come to you every day for the next year, and each day I will tell you about her. You may decide every day if I should return or not. If you decide that you do not like what you hear, or if you meet another woman who is better suited to you, I will be dismissed and will never return. If, however, you would like to know more, I shall come back the next morning and tell you about her,” she paused before adding, “What do you say to this, your majesty?”

Tension filled the room from the golden laced ceiling, down the pillars, to the polished marble floor upon which Adeline stood. The King tapped his fingers on the arm of his throne. There was no harm, he thought, in hearing about this young woman in his kingdom. If he met a woman who was well suited for him, he would not need to hear of her again—and if, for some reason, she peaked his interest, it would do no harm to learn more about her. It may even be quite interesting. Adeline intrigued him, and he decided he would allow her to return the next day.

Upon hearing the good news, Adeline’s smile spread through all around her, and the King found it to be quite infectious when he realized he, too, was smiling. Adeline curtseyed once more, and began to make her way out of the large hall.

“Wait!” the King called, standing up and advancing a few steps. “Are you not going to tell me anything about her today?”

Adeline turned. “Her name is Elise.” With that, she left.

Adeline returned to the town and went immediately to work. She met Elise there, who noticed that Adeline was up to something. The elder sister was decidedly quiet, however, and would not say a word about where she had been. Early the next morning, she woke up and headed again to the palace. The guards let her in, and she was greeted with fondness. She entered the throne room, where the King was waiting.

“Your majesty,” she began, “what would you like to know about my sister today?”

He thought for a moment. “Tell me what she looks like.”

Adeline nodded. “My sister Elise has beautiful eyes—green, like the color of grass that shines beneath the morning dew. Her hair is long, and in the sunlight it looks like honey. When not braided, it flows down to her waist in soft curls. And she has the fairest of skin, as many often tell her.”

The King seemed satisfied with what he had been told, but there Adeline stopped.

“Well, go on,” he urged. “What else?”

“I am afraid that is all I can tell you today,” she replied.

He sat back in his throne, sighing. “As you wish. Come back tomorrow.” Adeline nodded, curtseying before exiting the room.

The next morning, the King was once again in his throne room, eagerly awaiting her entrance. Adeline moved to curtsey, but he waved a hand, stating that a gesture so formal would not be needed every day. They were, after all, to see each other every day. He did not want to waste time on formalities when they could be speaking. Adeline laughed, noting how eager the king had become, but acquiesced.

Adeline told the king of her sister’s many accomplishments—in singing, drawing, dancing, reading, sewing, playing the pianoforte. During the following weeks, Adeline’s conversations with the king grew longer and longer. He became increasingly interested in the lives of the two sisters who lived in his kingdom.

One day, Adeline was taken down an unfamiliar corridor, to the other side of the palace. She was escorted through a large carved door, behind which lay a garden more beautiful than anything she had ever seen. She was not sure she could call it a garden—the word was too plain, too simple. Trees of every kind laced the edges of the oasis, and flowers carpeted the ground. Golden-laced cobblestones peeked through the emerald grasses, glimmering in the sunlight. Butterflies and hummingbirds fluttered through the air, and a stream flowed through, the sound of the trickling water echoing like a beautiful melody.
She stepped through the garden, enchanted with everything she saw, and came up to the king. “Your majesty,” she said as the king turned to her.

His golden eyes sparkled. “This place is my sanctuary,” he said, “I come here when I cannot think…or when I think too much. Or, when my advisors are getting on my nerves.” He chuckled. “Come to think of it, I come here often. It is so—”

“Peaceful,” she finished, looking up at the willow tree next to them.

The king nodded. “Precisely.”

“Your majesty, what would—”

“I grow tired of hearing people call me that,” he said, holding a hand up. “It seems that no one can address me in any other way nowadays.”

“That is perhaps because you are the king.”

“Yes, quite so.” He nodded to himself, looking around the garden. “But I cannot stand being only called ‘your majesty’ and ‘sire,’ because I feel as if one day I will forget what my own name is. Please, from now on, address me as Henry. That is my name, and I would like for a friend to call me that.”

“Do you consider me to be your friend?” Adeline asked, tilting her head. Her hair, which had been pulled back into a ponytail, fell across her shoulders.

He smiled, with one half of his mouth curving up more than the other. “Yes, I would like to say we are friends. I will be seeing you for many more weeks, and it would feel odd if you only ever addressed me as ‘your majesty.’ Please, address me as you would a friend.”

She nodded. “As you wish, y-…Henry.”

The king broke out into a grin that outshone the entire landscape. He was so full of joy that Adeline did her best to soak up the moment. They remained silent for a few seconds, then Adeline remembered something.

“What would you like to know about Elise today, Henry?”

His expression changed. “Ah, yes. I was out here watching the sunrise this morning, looking over all the flowers.” He walked through the garden, Adeline joining him. “I wondered which her favorite is.”

Adeline thought of all the days she and her sister ventured out to the fields surrounding the city. They walked among the hills and picked flowers to make crowns and wreaths. There was one Elise always reached for.

“Her favorite is the sky flower,” she said, pointing to a delicate blue one a few steps away. The small flower had perfectly sculpted petals that mirrored the color of the sky above.

Henry nodded. “My mother always loved that flower.”

“Perhaps that is a sign,” Adeline suggested. They chuckled.

“What about you, Adeline? What is your favorite flower?”

She described a fiery orange and red flower that was hard to find; the dragon wildflower, which always stood out to her amongst the green grass. It was then that Adeline saw the sun and realized how long she had been there.

“I must go!” She gasped, heading toward the palace door.

“Why, what is the matter?”

“I am late for work!”

“Work?” Henry asked, caught quite off guard. “You work?”

She stopped, spinning to look up at him. “Of course; my sister and I work for a seamstress. And I am afraid I have been late for the past week. I cannot be late again—I must leave right away!” With that, she left.

“Adeline, what is going on with you?” Elise asked one evening, as they walked home from work. “I wish you would tell me.”

“All in due time.” Adeline replied, looking to the vast summer skies. She could already feel the air changing, bringing in a new season.

The summer warmth faded and the world spun, bringing a crisp chill into the air. Adeline answered questions about Elise’s favorite books and music choices, childhood memories, and thoughts on the world. She was a good storyteller, Henry noted one day, as she perfectly described the day Elise scraped a knee jumping from one side of a stream to another and fell into the water.

The weather turned colder and snow blanketed the earth. Adeline found it difficult to make it to the palace on some mornings, yet she never missed a day. During the cold months, her conversations with Henry became longer and she found herself feeling quite at home speaking with him every day about life. All of those who worked in the palace had become like good friends to her, and she cherished the conversations she had not only with the king, but also with the others.

Seemingly as quickly as it had come, winter retreated into a corner and spring began to shine through, bringing warmth back into the land and making the long walk wet from rain instead of icy from snow. On the first day of spring, Henry asked if Adeline would play the pianoforte and sing one of the songs she told him Elise knew well, and though quite nervous—for, she had only ever played for her sister—she agreed. She chose a valley song that she and her sister both learned as children. Her hands felt shaky and her fingers slipped on the ivory keys a few times, yet the king told her she played—and sang—beautifully. Adeline assured him how much better it would have been if Elise had performed.

On her way to the palace one morning not too long after, Adeline slipped on the road and scraped her knee badly on a rock hidden beneath the mud. When she arrived at the palace, the staff was shocked to see her leg bloodied and took her immediately to be bandaged. The king insisted that she borrow a carriage for the ride home that day.

Adeline assured him she was quite alright, and after a short conversation about Elise, she left with a limp. From a window in the palace, the king watched as his friend traversed down the muddy path. He stopped himself three times from rushing out to help her, for she had a stubborn disposition and refused any assistance. Adeline fully recovered from her injury a short time later, though Henry insisted she would have healed quicker if she had not made the walk each day and let him instead make a carriage available for her.

Shortly thereafter, Adeline realized that nine months had passed since their first meeting, and she was disheartened when she thought about their time as friends coming to a close. Yet, she reminded herself that it was all in the interest of her sister.

“Do you think I will like her, Adeline?” Henry asked one fine morning, only a week before the year was up. They sat under a large willow tree and listened to the stream that ran in front of them.

Adeline turned to look at the man beside her, and realized her heart was torn in two. “Yes, I think you will like her very much,” she decided to say. How could anyone not love Elise dearly? She was most accomplished at many things, and had a heart of gold. Which, Adeline told herself, would do well in such a palace.

“I hope we will remain friends through the years, no matter how things turn out,” he said absentmindedly. Adeline left the palace that day without saying much more.

The last week passed, and Adeline suddenly found herself waking up on the morning of her sister’s seventeenth birthday. The sky outside was grey and dismal, the way her heart had become. The last of the evening stars was still shining, though not as brightly as Adeline had remembered it being in the past year.

She went to her sister and gently woke her up. “Put on your best dress, and let me do your hair.” Elise, rubbing her eyes sleepily, did as instructed. Adeline braided her sister’s hair and pinned it back, framing the young face nicely.

The two set out, one silently following the other. The sound of shoes clicking on the cobblestone streets was all that protruded the silence. Elise struggled to keep up with her sister as they passed the city and began up the long path.

“Where are we going?” Elise asked, breathless. Her sister would not reply, but kept her eyes forward. Adeline slowed down to a gentle walk, and the incline was not so bad at the time so Elise felt like she could talk.

“I do not know the reasons why you determine yourself to make this awful walk all alone. I don’t know where you go, or why. You have been absent from work many mornings, and have left me alone much of the time. You haven’t noticed the changes in me in this past year, so I will have to tell you what you have missed in my life.”

“Oh, sister,” Adeline said rather gingerly, “I wish you would be quiet. We are almost there. Please, be patient.”

That was when Elise looked up and realized they were in front of the palace gates. Two ominous guards peered down at the women, and Elise thought of retreating behind her sister. But after a moment’s silence, one of them broke into a grin.

“Adeline! You don’t look so well this morning. Probably cause of this weather, y’know? Today hasn’t been the best day for spring, what a shame. Who’s this you’ve got with ya? This is a shock, a real shock! Ain’t it, Teddy?”

Teddy, the other guard, replied, “Aye, it is indeed! She looks an awful lot like Adeline, don’t she? Adeline, is this your sister? She must be! Look at them—the very same face structure! Course, this one’s a little shorter and plumper, and she’s got different eyes.”

“Her hair isn’t as dark as Adeline’s, either, I reckon.”

The two men continued to talk, and Adeline passed through the gates after saying ‘good morning,’ greeting them like friends. Elise hesitated, looking up at the towering palace and realizing she was not prepared for whatever lay within.

“You know those men?” she asked, catching up with her sister.

“They are my friends,” Adeline replied.

The doors were opened for Adeline before she reached them, and Elise’s mouth hung open. Surely her sister could not have taken on a job at the palace—could she? Everyone they came across seemed to know her so well.

“Carslile,” she called to a man who was carrying a tray—before she said anything else, the man told her she would find “him” in the old library. She nodded and walked up the grand staircase without any hesitation.

“I must tell you, dear sister, our lives may very well change this day. I have been coming here, to the palace, every day for the past year.”

“I…gather that much,” Elise replied, trying to keep up.

Adeline nodded, looking at her sister. “I have been meeting with the King.”

“The King? But…That’s impossible!”

“It is quite true. I have come here each day to tell him about a woman he may marry.”

“Oh?” Elise asked, “You know a noblewoman?”

“It is no noblewoman,” Adeline said, “It is you.”

“Me?!” Elise stammered, nearly tripping. “I—I don’t understand!”

The sisters came to the top of the staircase, where Adeline took Elise’s hands in her own. “I realized some time ago that you have grown into a very accomplished young woman. I know of no eligible bachelors in our society of friends, and though I may never marry, I should like to see you happy and well taken care of.

“Last year I came to the palace, requesting to see the king. When allowed an audience with him, and I told him of your many talents, your kindness, your joy, and of the very nature of who you are. He has been getting to know you through me for the past year, waiting until you may be presented publicly. Now that time has come, and I am to officially introduce you. The King is the kindest of souls I have ever met and the best of men—a person could not be made better, even if the Creator tried for a thousand years.

“I do not know what will happen today, but the King may very well fall in love with you at first glance. I do not expect you to do the same, only consider what your future could be, if he offers. If not, no harm will come because your heart has not been entwined to his.”

The sisters reached the door to the library and Adeline sighed. She took one more look at her sister, then boldly walked into the presence of the King.

“Your majesty,” she addressed him, which caught Henry off guard, “may I present my sister—Elise.”

Elise, still quite shocked, stumbled, but recovered and curtseyed. Henry crossed the room and bowed. The three spent nearly an hour in the library, Adeline only moderately listening to the conversation between the King and her sister.

She finally realized someone was speaking to her, and turned to see a delicately smiling Elise. “Are you ready? We must go to work.”

Adeline nodded, rising from the couch. “Yes, of course.” She looked at Henry, holding back tears that so desperately wanted to escape, and curtseyed. “Thank you for seeing us, sire.”

Henry nodded in return. He looked at the sisters, then addressed Elise. “Would you be so kind as to return tomorrow morning, Elise? I have something I would like to speak to you about privately.” He glanced at Adeline, adding, “If your sister does not mind.”

“Not at all,” Adeline replied. Elise accepted the invitation, and the sisters departed.

Adeline realized as the sisters walked home that her heart had indeed been torn into two. Yet, she determined, she would be happy for her sister, as she had always planned. Adeline heard nothing her sister said the entire day, but devoted herself to work instead. The sisters went to sleep without much conversation between them, and in the morning Elise arose early and left Adeline alone in the house.

She came back after some time, smiling as if the sun had shone for the first time in her entire life. Needing to be on her own, Adeline walked among the hills behind the city that afternoon, letting the gentle breeze catch her up and take her where it desired. When she returned home, the sun had just dipped behind the mountains and a blue hue was blanketed over the earth. Elise was at the old pianoforte, playing gleefully. Adeline was not feeling up to joining her in a duet, even after Elise implored, and went straight to bed instead.

When morning came, the sisters readied themselves for work as usual. But before they had even had their breakfast, a knock came on the door. Adeline answered the door, with Elise only just behind her.

“You have been summoned to the palace.” Raymond, one of the King’s servants, announced. Adeline noticed a grand carriage waiting behind him.

She turned to her sister, saying, “Get your coat on, and don’t keep the man waiting.”

“Beggin’ your pardon, Adeline,” Raymond returned, a smile widening across his face, “but your sister isn’t the one who’s been summoned. You have.”

Adeline looked at him, then back at her sister, and back at Raymond. A confused look wrinkled her forehead. “I do not understand. Elise is not summoned?”

Raymond shook his head. “No, you have been summoned. Best not to keep the King waiting, eh?” he said, gesturing for her to get into the carriage.

Adeline felt her sister hug her and usher her into the carriage, and before she had time to think she was at the palace, being escorted into the grand castle. She was instructed to follow one of the servants, who took her down corridors and hallways she knew all too well. The great wooden door was opened for her and she looked out at the garden, which was brimming with life and color. She stepped out into the green meadow, being told he was in his usual spot. The door closed behind her and the only sounds that invaded Adeline’s thoughts were those of the wind rustling through the trees, birds harmonizing among the branches, and the stream laughing as the water swirled and ran downhill.

The King was standing under the golden sun, his back toward Adeline. She walked through the garden, each step heavier than the last. She did not know why he had called her there, other than to thank her for introducing him to his sister. Perhaps, because she was the only living relative, he would ask her approval of the match, as was tradition in all marriages in Aldea.

When she neared him, he turned to face her. Adeline’s heart nearly stopped beating, for she saw on the King’s face a look that she hadn’t recognized before. It was one of kindness, and softness, but also something else she could not quite place.

“Hello,” he smiled, closing the gap between them.

“Hello, Your Majesty,” Adeline curtseyed, feeling quite awkward and out of place in addressing him as such.

Henry must have felt the same, for he was taken aback and furrowed his brow.

“Why such formality, Adeline? I thought we were friends.”

“We are, sire,” she replied, “That is, I would always enjoy your friendship. But with your upcoming announcement of an engagement—”

“Ah, yes.” He smiled to himself, as if lost in a thought. “Adeline, I would very much like it if you would call me Henry, always.”

She nodded her head. “Of course. As you wish.”

He smiled, but his brows turned up as if he were trying to communicate something she could not understand. “Did your sister tell you of our conversation yesterday?”

She shook her head in response. “I do not believe so, your m—Henry.”

“Well, then I shall have to relay it to you.” He took in a breath, looking up at the blue skies that loomed overhead. Clasping his hands behind his back, he looked down at the grass upon which he stood. “I will not be marrying your sister Elise.”

Adeline was shocked, taken aback for a moment. “Oh.” She managed to say after a few moments of silence.

“She is all of what you told me before—she is charming, kind, intelligent, and a well-rounded young woman. But I am afraid neither she nor I felt any sort of connection, and I found after the two of you left my palace the other day that I already had made a decision to marry another, in my heart.”

Adeline felt the blood leave her face, and her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. “I see. I am very happy for you.” The words came out, though she could not make herself feel any joy in them.

“You are?” he asked, turning to her. “You do not even know who it is I have decided to marry. What if I have chosen a conniving, evil woman who wants me for my money and power?”

Adeline smiled a little, shaking her head. “You are a wise man. You would not marry a woman like that.”

“What if I decided to marry a girl with no brains, who couldn’t tell her fork from her spoon and could not rule alongside me?”

Again, Adeline shook her head. “You would not marry a woman like that, either.”

Henry looked at her, his golden eyes alive with more sunlight in them than the sun itself. “You are quite right. I do not desire to marry a woman like that at all. I have thought long and hard about it, because I wanted to ensure the best decision for my kingdom as well as for myself. And what I found is that the woman I love—the woman I hope would do me the honor of being my wife and the queen to this kingdom—is nothing at all like the woman I was expecting.”

Adeline remained silent, unsure of his meaning.

“She is more selfless than any other being I have known. Though she can be quite stubborn at times, it is always for the right cause. She knows and loves those around her equally, and makes no distinction between the classes. All of my staff loves her dearly, as does her family. In short, she is the most beautiful and accomplished woman I have met, and I know that none other would be capable of being queen as she.”

Adeline nodded her head, holding back tears. “I look forward to your endless happiness, and I would very much like to meet your queen one day.”

Henry smiled. “Adeline,” he said. “It should be no mystery to you—you are the one of whom I speak. The woman I wish to have as my wife and partner, the queen of Aldea. That is, if you will have me.”

Adeline opened her mouth to speak, but no words came forth. Henry found himself down amongst the grass, on one knee, offering to her a ring that shone brighter than any other that Adeline had ever seen. Her heart all at once was completely mended, and more than that, it was overfilled with joy. She accepted without hesitation, and was immediately embraced by the man she loved so well.

Henry wished to summon Elise to the palace at once, that she might join in celebrating the engagement of her sister. He had spoken with her the day before about it, and Elise encouraged him to waste no time in speaking to Adeline, for she was truly happy for them.

When the King announced his engagement to the kingdom, his subjects were delighted. The palace was full of joy and merriment, and all of Adeline’s friends could not have been happier for her. Arrangements were made for the wedding and in only a few weeks they were King and Queen. The kingdom rejoiced, for the King had found a queen who was lovelier and more gracious than any the kingdom had ever known, and the two ruled as one. The Queen was loved by all, especially her sister, who happily married two years later.

King Henry and Queen Adeline ruled for many years; under them, the kingdom prospered as it had never before. And truly, they lived happily for the rest of their days.

THE END.


IMG_4907Laurel Burlew has been a writer for the majority of her lifetime. Though her focus is in speculative fiction, she has written in a variety of genres and constantly strives to push herself outside her comfort zone, including writing this fairy tale. When not writing, Laurel can usually be found with a book in her hands or at a piano. She is currently studying English Literature at her local university. You can follow her on Instagram @laurelanne.b and find more of her writing on her blog at www.hbauthors.com.

Interview with Author Jaclyn Moriarty

feelingsorryceliaCM: How did you balance writing your first novel with getting your PhD in law at Cambridge University?

JM: I wrote most of Feeling Sorry for Celia very late at night. I didn’t have a computer then, so I would walk to the university computer room in the moonlight. Sometimes there would be other students working or chatting in there so it was like writing in the company of strangers. And if I needed inspiration I could eavesdrop on their conversations. When my PhD was finished, I spent a week in a cottage in Cornwall and finished the book.

CM: Did studying law influence you as a writer?

JM: I like the multiple layers of story behind cases, and I found legislation weirdly inspirational. It always seemed like a treasure hunt to me. Precision of language is hugely important in law (e.g. you would never say in a legal document that something was ‘weirdly inspirational’ or ‘hugely important’), and I think law helped me to think in a clearer and more structured way, which was good for my chaotic mind.

CM: Where did you get the inspiration for Feeling Sorry for Celia?

JM: When I was in high school, a friend of mine switched to a different school and we decided to keep in contact by writing letters to each other. We kept writing all through university, and we used to share secrets in our letters, and try to make each other laugh. We became very close as a result. (My friend wanted to be an artist so her letters were better than mine: they included beautiful illustrations.) (She is now a successful artist who exhibits her work all over the world.) So I liked the idea of a book about a female friendship that builds through letter-writing.

CM: Do you have a favorite character in the series? Who was the easiest point of view to write? The most difficult?

JM: I think Lydia is my favourite character because I like her edginess and her intensity. Emily and Bindy are both close seconds though, and those two were definitely the most fun to write. They just walked onto the page and started talking. I didn’t have to do anything.

Even though she was my favourite character, Lydia was sometimes the most difficult to write because I knew what was going on in her head, but I also knew she would never let anybody hear that: she would hide behind her persona. So I had to keep reminding myself not to give away what she was thinking.

CM: What is something you want readers to take away from your Ashbury/Brookfield series?

JM: I like it when readers write to me to say they’ve been sending letters to their friends since reading the books. But I didn’t realize that would happen when I wrote them. I was most interested in the importance, and beauty, and complexities of friendship, especially friendship between girls.

cornerwhite.jpgCM: Were you surprised by the success of Feeling Sorry for Celia? Did that success add pressure while you wrote your next book?

JM: I was so amazed to be published at all that I thought it must be an elaborate hoax. Even when the book was in the shops, I thought someone was playing a giant trick on me. I was still in this strange daze while I wrote the next book (The Year of Secret Assignments, which is Finding Cassie Crazy in Australia and the UK). Also, I was still working as a lawyer at that time so writing the book seemed more like a game I was playing in my spare time.

CM: When you first sent Feeling Sorry for Celia to agents in London, how did you handle those rejections, and what advice do you have for writers experiencing rejection from agents and publishers?

JM: I cried every time I got a rejection letter. It was ridiculous. But healthy! And then I tore the letters into tiny shreds. My advice for writers experiencing rejection is to cry a bit, because crying is healthy, like I said. I don’t know if I advise you to tear the letters to shreds because you might want to keep them to post pictures of them online when you are a huge success? But tearing them was a great, symbolic gesture and helped me leave them behind and move on to trying again.

CM: Did your time in Cambridge influence A Corner of White?

JM: I wanted to set A Corner of White partly in the real world and partly in the Kingdom of Cello. For the three years that I lived there, Cambridge was a magical place to me: gardens, trees, history, ghosts, strange traditions, strawberries-and-champage-while-punting-down-the-river, owls in trees, deer in the garden, and so on. So it seemed like the obvious location for a crack through to an imaginary kingdom.

CM: Was it easy or difficult to switch from writing contemporary fiction to fantasy?

JM: At first it was difficult. I read a lot of fantasy, and tried a lot of different approaches before I found my voice. And that only happened when I realized that I wanted to write contemporary fiction as fantasy: I mean, I wanted the characters to be as real and emotionally complex as I had tried to make them in my other books.

CM: Why do you frame much of your writing through the exchange of letters?

JM: It’s a strange addiction of mine. I don’t mean to do it, but letters keep turning up in my books. I think they give me the immediacy of first-person narrative at the same time as the control of an omniscient narrator. And I love the combination of intimacy and unreliability, especially when there are multiple, intersecting, unreliable correspondents.

tanglegoldCM: Do you have a favorite (or least favorite) book cover?

JM: I’ve liked them all. I think the first one I really loved was the Australian edition of I have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes because they used an antique picture of a hot air balloon from a tiny book I had found in a second-hand bookshop in Cambridge. I also loved the atmospheric magic of the US edition of The Spell Book of Listen Taylor. But my new favorite is definitely A Tangle of Gold. The designer, Elizabeth Parisi, has used a photograph taken by Matt Molloy, who has stacked together hundreds of shots of a sunset. The picture is beautiful and looks exactly the way I imagine the Farms in the Kingdom of Cello during a Colour storm.

CM: Do you have a person you usually share your work with first?

JM: My sister, Liane Moriarty. I’m also usually her first reader. Another author sister, Nicola Moriarty, is also one of my first readers.

CM: What (fiction) books have shaped you as a writer and what did they teach you?

JM: My favourite books as a child included The Phoenix and the Carpet by E. Nesbit, James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl, and all the Mary Poppins books by P.L. Travers. They probably shaped me into the kind of writer who is obsessed with magic at the edges of reality. As an adult, the books of John Marsden, Carol Shields and Elizabeth McCracken were all turning points for me as a writer. When I read John Marsden’s Letters from the Inside, I was astonished at his ability to get into the head of a teenage girl. Then it occurred to me that I was once a teenage girl myself. At that point I’d started writing Feeling Sorry for Celia four or five times, and it still wasn’t working. I realized I’d been observing my teenage characters from a distance. Now I tried putting myself inside the heads of all the characters, and at last it came to life for me. And I love the Carol Shields and Elizabeth McCracken books for their verve and vitality, and for immersing themselves, unapologetically, in the lives and minds of women.

CM: What’s your favorite fairy tale?

JM: I don’t know, fairytales always make me feel so uneasy. People breaking rules and then getting punished. I get distressed when people break the rules, and I don’t believe in punishments. It seemed ridiculous to me that anybody should be expected to guess the name Rumpelstiltskin, I was very upset by the idea of Rip Van Winkle and the Sleeping Beauty missing out on so much life, and the idea of someone climbing up Rapunzel’s ponytail made my head hurt. Also, I was never one of those girls who dreamed of weddings and handsome princes so the pay-off was never enough for me.

If I could just take out pieces of fairytales, I like the idea of that gingerbread house with all the candy on it very much. And I’m keen on elves doing the work for me while I sleep.

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CM: What do you like about writing young adult fiction that is different than writing adult fiction?

JM: I like young adults. They seem more honest, passionate, hopeful and complex than adults.

CM: How do you think you’ve grown as a writer after writing nine books?

JM: I expect I overthink things now. I’m trying to get back to the pleasure of invention with my latest books.

CM: Some of your siblings are also authors. Do you ever trade manuscripts? Would you ever consider collaborating?

JM: Two of my sisters, Nicola and Liane Moriarty, are also authors. We are very close, we definitely trade ideas and manuscripts, and we talk a lot about collaborating. I’m sure we will do something one day. We can get competitive about using family anecdotes in our writing.

bedpancakesCM: Is it difficult to balance being a mother with being an author?

JM: I just asked my 9-year-old if he thinks it’s difficult for me to balance being a mother and an author, and he said an emphatic, ‘No’. He seemed to find the question astonishing.

Sometimes I’m nearly finished a book and all I want to do is write, and that seems to be exactly when my son gets a bad cold and has to stay home from school.   But often when that happens I find myself coming up with better ideas for the resolution of the book, and I’m glad I spent the day hanging out with the boy rather than writing. It’s also a perfect job because I can take the time to be with the boy when he needs me. I’m glad I’m not a lawyer any more.

CM: Do you ever worry that your son won’t grow up to be a reader?

CM: That’s a funny question, and yes! I do worry about that! But only because reading gives me so much pleasure and escape and I wouldn’t want him to miss out on that. On the other hand, some people lead perfectly happy lives without being readers, so it won’t be the end of the world if he isn’t. (So far he does love reading and it’s a beautiful thing to me, to see him lying on the couch, turning pages. I also like it when he reads when we’re out in a cafe and other people say to me, ‘Oh, how wonderful to see a child reading!’ Then I feel like a proud mother.)

CM: What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

JM: Read in all sorts of different directions, from poetry to history to science to sci-fi. And try writing in all sorts of different directions too.

CM: What do you think new writers need to know about publishing?

JM: Maybe that publishers cannot guarantee a book’s success, no matter how much they believe in the book.

CM: Do you have any novels planned for after the Colours of Madeleine series?

JM: I am working on a book about a girl whose parents left her with an aunt when she was a baby, so they could go away and have adventures with pirates. Now they have sent her instructions requiring her to deliver treasure to her ten other aunts. I’m also working on a novel for adults about a woman who signs up for a self-help course that promises to teach her to fly. And a new Ashbury-Brookfield novel about Emily’s younger brother, William.


a-jaclynmoriarty.jpgJaclyn Moriarty is the award-winning author of The Year of Secret Assignments, The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie, The Ghosts of Ashbury High, The Spell Book of Listen Taylor, and the Colors of Madeleine trilogy. She grew up in Sydney, Australia, studied law at Yale and Cambridge, and then turned to writing. Jaclyn now lives back in Sydney with her little boy, Charlie. She is very fond of chocolate, blueberries, and sleep.

Announcing…Themes!

We get a lot of requests for more specific submission tips: what exactly are you looking for? Do you have a particular topic in mind? Where can I even begin?
And while we’re not quite ready to give up free-form submissions altogether (so keep ’em coming, folks!), we did decide to give ourselves a bit of a chapter heading. So, starting this June, we’re going to curate submissions around a quarterly theme—which we’ll be announcing right here!
And what’s our first theme?
fairytale

Here at Ampersand, we’re all about bringing people together, and nothing connects us more than the stories we all share.

The words “once upon a time” echo through you with reminders of childhood, lost dreams, and a space outside of time. Give us the unlikely, the ideal, the twisted, the light-hearted and brave. Give us that feeling that things aren’t always what they seem on the surface. Give us your true loves and your broken hearts.

Give us your fairy tales.

(And feel free to interpret that loosely.)

Interview with Artist Laura Barrett

CM: What is your background/education in art?

LB: I’ve drawn and painted since I was little- mostly inspired by my Grandad who used to paint beautiful watercolours. I followed the traditional route (at least here in the UK) of a foundation course in art and design, before studying for a degree in Graphic Design at Camberwell College of Art, which is part of the University of the Arts London. I graduated back in 2007 and have been freelancing ever since.

CM: What are some of the most valuable lessons you learned in art school?

LB: That mistakes aren’t necessarily a bad thing! At the end of my degree I was working on a fairytale story book that I wrote, and planned to create illustrations that would be laser cut into layers of wood. I spent a fair amount of time and money on the laser cutting, only to realise afterwards, that the black and white designs that I created to be cut were far more striking that the final wooden pieces. So the style I now work in was a rather happy accident!

A4 Sleeping BeautyCM: How does storytelling play into your art?

LB: I think storytelling and silhouettes have always gone hand in hand, showing a layer of detail but leaving so much more to the viewer’s imagination to make up for themselves.

One of my favourite things is hiding small details and objects- a key, for instance, within my illustrations which hopefully adds to the storytelling element.

CM: What drew you to fairytales?

LB: I’ve researched quite a lot of narrative theory- Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, Vladimir Propp’s formula for fairytales, etc., and I think it’s the timeless, simplicity of the tales combined with their history and universality that interests me the most, and the fact that they seem to be part of our collective unconscious.

It fascinates me that these interconnected stories have survived through time and from before the written word- they can be seen in so many different, and unrelated cultures. For instance with Cinderella- there are Chinese and Italian versions, even examples within Greek and Roman mythology.

Plus of course, there’s so much rich, visual language to play with that I think, for me, they’ll always be a joy to illustrate.

CM: What are some of your favorite fairytales and why?

LB: I love the Tale of the Juniper Tree for it’s imagery- a story that starts off similarly to Snow White, with a kindly woman, wishing for a child- she has a son as red as blood and as white as snow but is so overcome with joy that she dies, and the husband remarries. A while later the evil stepmother tricks the son into reaching down into a chest before shutting the lid, decapitating him. The stepdaughter buries his bones under the Juniper tree and the tale ends with a beautiful bird who brings gifts to the father and daughter and revenge for the stepmother by dropping a millstone on her. Pretty dark really! I also love Sleeping Beauty, The Snow Queen, and the humorous twist of The Food of Paradise.

I love reading new takes on old tales, so books like Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan, based on Snow White, Rose Red and Bitter Greens, by Kate Forsyth, loosely based on Rapunzel.

LBarrett GuardianFairyJuniperBBCM: How did you get into silhouette art?

LB: I’d never actively thought about using silhouettes, but looking back at the development of my work I could see plenty of examples of them- I’d used this medium almost subconsciously, from ink drawings to papercuttings.

Working in silhouette has it’s limitations and means that you have to really think about what information you want to convey in an illustration, otherwise everything ends up blending into one unreadable shadow. I find this enforced limit and simplicity, opens up more possibilities.

CM: What has been one of your favorite projects to do?

LB: One of my favourite but most challenging projects was working on illustrations for Taschen’s two books, The Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, and Hans Christian Andersen. I created around 50 illustrations for each book, to quite a tight deadline, which really made me step up my game. Collaborating with Taschen’s art director, Noel Daniel was a very enjoyable experience.

I also recently created about a dozen illustrations for Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, to mark the 150th anniversary. It was a personal project so being able to experiment with new techniques and create a handmade, limited edition book was wonderfully satisfying.

CM: What are some of your favorite things to draw/paint/paper cut besides fairytales?

LB: Definitely buildings and architecture- I’m obsessed with the idea of cities and their place within nature. Castles are always on my list of things to draw.

aLBarrettSilentPool1fullCM: How did you get into the publishing/packaging/design industry?

LB: One project followed another, starting with a fairytale commission for The Guardian newspaper, and leading to several book projects. I also got my first packaging commission from Anatomy Wines, a Colorado based winery, creating a gothic wine label and have since worked on packaging for gin, perfume, biscuits and more!

CM: How do you balance your personal artwork and your professional projects?

LB: The balance is always tipped one way or other, and it always seems that I’m most inspired and itching to work on my own ideas when I’m swamped by client work. The trick is to write these ideas down in lists and pick up where I left off in quieter times.

Tales Foodof ParadiseCM: What do you get when you get art block?

LB: Hitting a creative stumbling block is incredibly frustrating. Here is my advice, which I really need to learn to take myself! Move away from where you usually work, give yourself some time and breathing space, go and see lots of different things- art, music, books, films, etc- things you wouldn’t normally do just to give yourself some new perspective. And try not to give yourself a hard time. Creativity seems to work in peaks and troughs, for me, at least.

I recently read Twyla Tharp’s book, The Creative Habit, which was very useful, and teaches you to create your own ritual and habit around your working practices, and provides you with tips for when you’re in a bit of a rut.

CM: Who are some artists you have learned from?

LB: I think I’m most inspired by Victorian artists and classic book illustrators. The attention to detail from artists such as Arthur Rackham, Harry Clarke, Aubrey Beardsley and Kay Nielsen all make me aspire to be a better illustrator.

CM: What advice do you have for aspiring artists?

LB: After leaving art school I really wished we’d been taught a lot more about the business side of illustration and freelancing, so find out as much as you can about life outside of art school and the realities of the art world, negotiating, contracts, etc.


Laura Barrett is an illustrator from South East London, who creates intricate and decorative silhouette illustrations and monochrome patterns from her home studio. With an emphasis on storytelling and an attention to detail, her illustrations are inspired by the darker side of folk and fairy tales, as well as traditional Scherenschnitte (paper cutting). She likes to explore these themes using silhouettes, created by drawing with a graphics tablet straight in to Adobe Illustrator and loves to work in striking black and white. Since graduating from University of the Arts London in 2007 she has been working with a variety of international clients, including Ted Baker, Taschen, Toni & Guy, Hachette and The Guardian.

http://www.laurabarrett.co.uk
Blog: http://www.laurabarrettblog.tumblr.com
Twitter: @laurabarrettuk
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LauraBarrettIllustration

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Charcoal Illustrations by Ben Kawecki

These charcoal drawings are part of a larger group of illustrations designed to narrate a story by purely visual means. This series began as part of my senior project; now I plan on revisiting it to edit and expand the original plot, illustrations, and style. To see the rest of this series in its current form, click here to head on over to my Behance page.


ben_profile_ampBen Kawecki is an illustrator and graphic designer. In his free time Ben enjoys spending time with his kick-ass wife Jenny Kawecki, reading, exploring old bookstores, hiking, wandering the city, and playing boardgames. For more of his work check out his Behance page and follow him on Instagram.

Blanche and the Seven Boys

When I was born, my mother insisted on naming me Blanche, though I can’t imagine why—I’d ask her, but she’s been dead for quite a while. My father, who wasn’t present at the birth, did nothing to try to talk her out of it, so I was stuck with the name, the first of many unpleasant things in life I’d be unable to avoid.

After she died and my father remarried, my stepmother took to calling me Princess. It was an attempt, I think, at winning me over, and one that mostly worked. With twelve years of hearing my name mangled and mocked under my belt, I was ready for any change.

My stepmother was so nearly identical to my mother in both looks and temperament, I had to wonder if my father had access to a secret cloning factory. Both were the fragile, trembling sort of women who tend toward mild vanity and weekend trips to the spa. And both were intent on raising me as their protégé. I would love to say I missed my mother, but the truth is, I barely noticed her absence. The weekly beautician visits, the etiquette lessons and catered luncheons, the carefully planned interactions with other society individuals all carried on as scheduled. The only difference between them was that my stepmother never, ever called me “her little Blanchette”—an irksome redundancy—and therefore she was perfect.

Of course, everything changed with my father’s death.

It wasn’t that my stepmother stopped loving me, or that either of us missed my father terribly. He hadn’t been present often enough to miss. But the nature of his death—sudden and shocking, and totally unlike my mother’s debilitating decline—was enough to disturb us both. With the added stress of managing the reorganization of my father’s multi-million dollar company (which he had, almost unbelievably, left in my stepmother’s completely incapable hands), my stepmother fell apart. Already a slave to her nerves, she developed a series of phobias and refused to leave her rooms, communicating only in the form of written notes slipped under the door which, more often than not, simply requested another bottle of vodka.

For months, the staff didn’t bother to trouble her with my madness. When I refused to leave the gardens outside our home, they set up a tent for me. When I started talking to the animals, they joined in. When I started compulsively scrubbing the porch stairs, they brought me fresh buckets of water and bandages for my bleach-cracked hands. But when I attempted to drown myself in the well, they finally slipped a long note under the door. The following morning they found a response, containing just two words:

Doctor Miir


Here at the asylum, they don’t bother calling by name at all. The orderlies call me “miss” or “ma’am” when they have to, but when they think they’re out of my hearing, they call me what everyone else in the ward calls me: “the girl.” I’m one of eight patients in the adolescent psych ward here, and the only girl.

Some of the guys are actually troubled, like me—orphaned rich kids whose minds are opting for the road less traveled by—but most of them have just been deposited here by parents too busy to keep tabs on them. We’ve banded together, the boys and I. We entertain each other, tell stories of our pasts, share baked goods and the miscellaneous contents of care packages, play pranks on each other, but most importantly, we help each other try to escape.

We make at least one attempt a week, sometimes together, sometimes individually, but always once a week. We have yet to succeed, but I don’t think this really surprises any of us. I can’t speak for the boys, but I, for one, am not really trying. I have nothing for me outside these walls. I don’t think they do, either; none of us have had any visitors in the three months I’ve been here.

Until today, that is.

Today marks the first time we will actually see Dr. Miir. We’ve heard his name mentioned, of course—“Dr. Miir would like to request a blood sample” or “Dr. Miir would appreciate it if you completed this questionnaire”—but none of us have actually spoken to him.

We are all, the seven boys and I, gathered together in the ward’s community room, awaiting our turn to talk to the doctor. I, it seems, will be last. We sit in silence as we are pulled out one by one. At some point, Chester tries to break the tension with an old story about his crazy ex-girlfriend (“Real crazy,” he says, “not just sad like all of us”), but it’s half-hearted and his voice trails off before he gets to the good part. Normally, we’d all laugh at exactly the right places, but not today.

The waiting is the worst when it’s just me. I feel the tick of the clock as each seconds passes, swear the slight vibration is actually pressing into skull. There are magazines on the coffee table in front of me, but I can’t touch them. I can’t move. I can’t even blink. I wonder, briefly, if the water in the toilet is enough to drown myself in, but I already know it’s not (I’ve tried), so I stay put.

“Miss?” The orderly motions that I should follow her. I do, marveling that my legs are working properly. She leads me back to my own room, where I find a slight, middle-aged gentleman waiting for me. He’s sitting on a stool, a clipboard propped on his knee, and he gestures to my bed. I sit, and the orderly leaves.

“Hello, Blanche,” he says. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

His hair is greying and very well groomed, and it makes me self-conscious of my own disheveled locks. I idly twist a strand between my fingers, waiting for him to continue.

“As you know, I’ve been studying you for some time now.” Dr. Miir pauses, watching at me, and I nod. “I believe I have developed a treatment for you and the boys. It’s experimental, but it should improve your mood significantly. Your stepmother has already signed the release form.”

I stare at him, unsure what to say. In the months that I’ve been here, the madness has mostly receded. Sure, I still attempted suicide now and then, but being around the boys, being around people who care about me again, seems to have worked wonders. Do I need treatment?

Sensing my hesitation, he pulls a pill bottle from his coat pocket, holds it out to me, and adds, “The boys have already agreed to undergo the trial.”

And that’s all it takes. I grab the bottle, down a pill, and the world goes black.


When I come to, the boys are with me. Dr. Miir, it turns out, was lying. The boys didn’t agree to undergo the trial; I am the only one. I try to feel sad about this, but I don’t.

We’re not sure what’s going to happen now. No one has ever taken the medication. Anything could happen.

The boys watch me expectantly, worriedly, for a few minutes before Chester launches into his story once again. This time, we all laugh in the right places, and by the time Chester makes it all the way to the punch line at the end, we’re in an uproar. But something is different, and I can see that the boys notice it, too—my laugh is off, fake-sounding, and I realize that the story isn’t funny to me anymore.


Over the next few weeks it becomes clear: I am dead.

Well, not really. Just dead inside. At least, that’s what Dr. Miir is calling it. He’s come back twice since his initial visit—first to make sure I was taking the pills as instructed, and then to tell me to stop. His medication doesn’t work exactly as planned, it seems. It blocks the pain, the suicidal tendencies, but it blocks everything else, too.

I’m no longer depressed, it’s true. I am a void. I wander the ward, watching the boys as they continue their activities as usual (last week’s escape attempt was the closest yet; I almost thought Brian and Scat were going to make it out), but I don’t take part. I don’t talk. I don’t feel. I try to spend as much time as possible asleep, because at least the time goes by faster.

I haven’t been taking the pills for two days now, but their effect appears to be permanent. I am a sleepwalker. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep when Chester comes in to tell me stories. He’s been doing this every night since the first: so far he’s told me all about ages seven, eight, and fourteen. Each time he leaves, I see his shoulders hunch a little more, and I know that if I could really do anything, I’d do my best not to wake up.


Dr. Miir has attempted several reversals now, but my condition is only getting worse. My mental lethargy is spreading to my body; my organs are slowing down, their production drawing closer and closer to nothing, and I am bound to my bed.

Nothing helps. Miir went through food therapy, shock therapy, hypnosis, and everything in between. They even tried (with my stepmother’s approval, of course) stopping and restarting my heart. I can no longer speak, though my eyes remain open. The boys are sitting here, tear tracks marking their sweet faces, and I know they are trying to say goodbye. The pain would be unbearable, I imagine, if I could feel it. Instead, I focus on the passing of time, the ticking of the clock, waiting for the boys to give up and leave.

But when the door opens, it’s not them leaving. Dr. Miir enters.

“I have one final option,” he says. He looks much more tired than when I met him a month and a half ago. I notice that his hair is no longer kempt; the grey patches are larger. “Hormone therapy.”

Seven heads turn to look at him; my own is still. “As an adolescent, your body’s hormones might still be rampant enough to be interfering with the benefits of the medication. Or, conversely, elevating your hormone levels might be enough to halt the adverse effects of your medication.”

“What are you saying?” Thom asks.

“I’m saying,” Miir pauses, as if the words are causing him pain, “that positive physical stimulation might be the solution.”

“You’re saying we should kiss her,” Brian says. Miir nods.

“Worth a shot,” Alex says. And so they do—one by one, each of the boys gets up, shuffles to my bed, and awkwardly pecks my lips. With every kiss, every lack of reaction, I see the hope fade from their eyes, until finally Chester is the last one left.

He looks into my eyes, smiles, and whispers, low enough that I’m the only one that can hear, “I always wanted to do this. Doctor’s orders.” And when he kisses me, it’s barely noticeable at first—a little warmth in my fingers, a faster beep on the heart rate monitor. But when Chester wipes at my cheek with his thumb and it comes away wet, it hits me: I’m waking up.

“I knew there was something there,” Scat says, breaking the silence, and I look around to see six teary faces and one very relieved doctor. Everyone laughs, even Dr. Miir.

“I would advise caution,” he says, “But the more hormonal stimulation, the faster and better your recovery should go.”

“Guess we should clear the room, then,” Brian quips, and the guys all slap Chester on the back as they leave us in peace. As the door closes behind them, Chester grins at me.

“Have I told you about my crazy girlfriend?” he asks. Then he touches his lips to mine, and when the tingle shoots all the way to my toes, it’s the first thing I’ve felt in weeks.


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Jenny Kawecki is an aspiring author, a fairy tale enthusiast, and a general lover of things. 22 years ago she was an awkward infant, and has since had the good sense to grow into an even more awkward adult. She currently lives with her husband in Annapolis, Maryland, where she can usually be found curled up with a book or editing articles for Ampersand Lit, which she co-runs with the amazing Clare Moore.

You can follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy.

The Boy and His Beast

A Non-fictive Fairy Tale by Zane Johnson

1

An aging boy of unhindered wit lives in the some-man’s-land where the desert and chaparral exchange the spoils of riverbed and shrubbery. When it rains, the boy wears old shoes and a duster the color of dill, and in sunlight, the size of his frame fills the coat with a sense of something sinister. His lover, still very much a girl, scrunches her nose and banishes the duster when the sky is clear. The wolf does not care.

2

Bobbing in a sea of yarn, the girl weaves. Ancestors of those living on the reservation a mile south once told histories on the loom – culture in cotton rivulets – and recorded great events, and they passed. Now, the girl tells epic tales of lines as they conquer other lines, marking the immortal milestones of plaid.

She sighs, stretches, and sinks, wondering if the women of tapestry weave in silence, or storytelling at the loom is as ancient a pastime. One woman of Greek myth peddled tales of self-grandeur, woven silks that could thrill the gods. She trailed this particular yarn to a goddess in disguise. Now, the only yarns she has to weave are of her own sticky spider silk. Probably worth it, the girl decides, with the running price of yarn.

3

A short wall behind the boy’s mother’s apartment complex, built to separate the wild from the civil, wilts at the first hint of storm. The once blue sky breaks into dingy cotton quilts and leaks, and after only a moment, water topples over the wall to replenish the some-man’s-land. The small Mexican Gray wolf sips from the new stream, and then takes the wall in a bound. He shelters himself in the duster and licks the remnants of puddles from his paws.

4

Strings trail about the room. The girl feigns consciousness as long, thin fingers pluck at the fabric, fixing spirals into cotton rays like a carpenter affixing shelves to studs. She straightens, loosening a burgeoning hunch. In this motion, she does not notice the pain, the shallow pin-prick in the small of her back, the slackening twitch at the edge of her eye. Unconsciously, she scratches her side, and presses the wisps trailing from her fingertips into the new yarn.

She glances toward her side table and remembers the wolf. It has been a short while, and she recalls its tiny paws padding against the pavement, its little snout, ruffled and roused by appetite. She remembers the yips as she first held the boy’s hand, how persistent they were, how daring. The girl smiles to herself, picturing the wolf pup, forgetting how quickly dogs grow.

5

By the time the boy takes notice, it has cleared a decent hollow in his back. The wolf’s snout rests in a wolf-bitten crevice. The boy rocks his hips from side to side, adjusting the creature. The boy straightens and starts toward work.

At the theater, the boy removes his coat and examines himself in the bathroom mirror. He looks no different with the protruding hind legs, so he hangs his jacket and begins. When he clocks in, the wolf withdraws and nips at the time sheet. The boy shoos him, and begins setting up concessions. The wolf withdraws and nips at the cash drawer. The boy shoos him, and finishes sweeping the floor. The wolf withdraws and nips at the popcorn. The boy shoos him, and closes up the theater. His stomach’s growl plays bass to the wolf’s howl and the refrain bellows all the way home.

6

The cold tiles lick the girl’s feet as she enters the kitchen, awakened by the thought of the wolf. She thinks of feeding the pup, the clicking of tiny paws on concrete as it retreats into the wilderness. She sends some words to the boy, a short message, a bit for the wolf to lick from her lips, not knowing it’s only a taste for such a creature.

There’s something like a nerve pain in the girl’s lower back. She looks around the house for someone to take a look. The house is empty. The pain is deep.

The girl feels something connecting herself and the boy – something inside her, and it always has been. She has known about this something for such a long time that she’s learned to use it, like scaffolding. She wishes the boy could do the same.

7

Over days, an ache grows as the wolf devours more of the boy. Paws and snout enter the boy’s abdominal cavity, trailing a furry belly withered by abstinence. The wolf hears the sucking insistence of the boy’s heart. The boy, wearied by the wolf’s pestering, gives, and the wolf enters the meat suit with pleasure and excitement. The wolf, unused to such long legs, staggers at first, but makes its way to the laptop in time. It takes a seat as it has taken the boy, narrowly missing the wagging tail. The wolf summons a site and solicits an accomplice.

8

The girl persists, reveling in the joy of the holiday season. Family surrounds her, and the ache fades. The girl misses the boy, but she speaks to him, and the pin-pricks in her abdomen fall dormant. She likes the boy, his sweetness and wit. She likes him, and she thinks she can make him happy.

9

Climax approaches, and the boy and wolf pant. The wolf steers the boy, now, throwing the boy’s hips harder into the accomplice, ignoring the money on the dresser, the cracks in the wallpaper. Both the wolf and the boy train their focus on the petite blonde, the wolf clenching the boy’s hands around her hips. On the drive home, the boy scolds himself. He hadn’t even cum, so it wasn’t even worth it.

10

Months pass, and winter becomes summer. The girl’s pain subsides, and she feeds the full-grown wolf. The two tend to the wolf as best they can, and without warning, they fall in love. The girl leaves for the summer months. The boy remains, bouncing between his father’s and mother’s, trying to cope without his girl, a means of escape, the sustenance for the wolf.

11

The boy’s back is nearly healed when the wolf returns. It sniffs the closed wound, searching for weakness. The boy feels the wolf’s teeth rake over the fragile skin, and a ribbon of warm blood runs into his sock. The wolf finds room for his head and paws. Pain blossoms through the boy’s form like petals on Mesquite, and he pants. He wants to lie down, to sleep, but the wolf won’t let him. Carnivorous teeth gnaw and chatter, clinging to his entrails. As the teeth find grip on his pelvis, the boy contracts. He tries to call his love, but there is no answer. He tries again to no avail. He wants to fight the wolf – he needs to fight the wolf – but the pain is too great, and as he falls forward onto hands and knees, the wolf becomes him.

12

The girl lies prone on her bedroom floor, arms flailed to either side. She wants to stand, to do, to make, but she can’t. She would need assistance for that, and assistance requires another. Fingers invoke a last bit of strength to travel along her back. The hole is not big, but the smell of necrotic flesh billows from the wound, filling her nostrils. Tears and sweat mingle down the bridge of her nose as her hand presses into the slit. She knows, so she doesn’t retreat when two-dozen pins skitter across her palm. She knows, so she doesn’t question the emptiness within her core or the cushy something gathering beneath her nails. She knows, so when she withdraws her hand, wrapped in woven webbing made opaque by abundance, she doesn’t shriek as brown recluse spiders scatter and disappear into the carpet.

13

The boy and wolf shudder and moan in climax. The wolf retreats and finds its way back to wilderness while the moon is still high. It licks the blood from its paws, nose, and gums. Content, the wolf disappears into the vast night and waits.

The boy reclaims his clothing and thinks of the girl, of what he’s done. He shambles out of the hotel to his truck, mindful of the chasms in his back and wallet, wondering when either will heal. The pale youth of his face sags with thought, and he joins the wolf in the desert’s cool dark.


Sight_2015_02_27_205800_847Zane Johnson is one of the few black fifth-generation Arizonans. She is a student in Creative Writing of Nonfiction at the University of Arizona. She reads a lot of comedy and watches a lot of horror movies, and has been told on many occasions not to use the word “interesting” in lieu of “horrifying and terrible.” This is one of her first publications.